Last week, Cooper Mesa was a quiet, studious bookworm.
This week, she feels unworthy of love or forgiveness.
When her twin sister, Kayla, tries to commit suicide, Cooper blames herself. If she had only paid more attention...
Desperate to understand her sister's decision, Cooper starts down a dark path, discovering her own inner turmoil. Losing herself was easy, but finding a reason to live is becoming impossible.
Publishes in US: September 8th 2014
Genre: Dark ya contemp
Source: author for honest review
Buy it: Amazon Barnes & Noble IndieBound Book Depository
Author stalk away: ~site
TRIGGERS: suicide attempt, pills, depression
Jaclyn from JC Book Haven sent Ms Desilets my way because she said it would be right up my alley, and I was drawn in even from the synopsis. I am into the dark and gritty. I deal with severe depression myself and I find a solace in books like this because even if it is fictional character, they know how the mind works when the depression is so dark.
We have the book from Cooper's eyes, the one who attempted suicide and is dealing with surviving. Instead we are with Cooper, her sister. Cooper was easy to like because she is a reader and she cares for others. I think that she had a bunch of emotions that are so true to life when something tragic like that happens. She questioned if she could have stopped it, wondered if she should have known, gets mad at Kayla and feels so much rage and confusion and sadness.
Cooper does find Kayla's diary, and in that way we can see the life events and what caused her to feel so dark. It is almost intrusive as a reader to read her pain, but luckily we have that window wide open to go through in fictional books.
The romance in this one is sweet, and it started off as just friends, Cooper calling Logan when she couldn't think of anyone else or deal with having to explain what happened. I liked how patient he was and how he really seemed to understand what Cooper was saying even when words weren't really enough.
Cooper's feelings get pretty dark in this one too. She struggles with guilt and anger, and she takes in out on her mom, and once she knows Kayla is on the road to recovery, she isn't really able to talk to her/ She keeps a lot inside and it comes out looking like she's mean to her mom, putting Kayla at a distance, and not caring about her physical or emotional state, just her search for answers.
There is a teacher in here, the one who realized that Kayla was in trouble and probably the reason that she lived acting so quickly. He is there for Cooper and with other staff, they try to help her work through her feelings. She is reading the Raven and sees Kayla as the raven, bringing the questions that only seem to have negative answers. Cooper working through this and figuring out what makes life worth living so you can get through the negative nevermores of life.
My only complaint is that it is a bit repetitive when she gets into the anger part of grief. I totally understand that is a step of grieving, and one that is often overlooked and instead favor the crying and the sad pain.
This was my kind of book, so thanks for the rec Jaclyn.
My question to you, my lovely readers:
Have you ever totally missed a big change in someone in your family or friends?