Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Feedback is gold to me!!

Purty please? I've taken the most popular ones from yesterday and put them into a form. Vote again even if you did yesterday.

I appreciate you SO much!!

This is for my book- Fractured.
I am trying to write a letter for agents, these are the options I like for my hook. To read more about hooks, read after the form

A friend mentioned they seemed incomplete-- so to clarify, these are my hooks for the rest of the letter, the opening sentence that is supposed to catch attention for the rest of what's coming. My writer friend put it wonderfully-- the hook is more of an overall statement that leads into the story.
There are two different types of hooks: the one that intros the characters in a brief light, and the one that highlights the story. *Personally,* I prefer the story highlight.

and another friend said this and gave a great similiar example: I love the way Dreamland's blurb starts.

Strange, sleepy Rogerson, with his long brown dreads and brilliant green eyes, had seemed to Caitlin to be an open door. With him she could be anybody, not just the second-rate shadow of her older sister, Cass. But now she is drowning in the vacuum Cass left behind when she turned her back on her family's expectations by running off with a boyfriend. Caitlin wanders in a dream land of drugs and a nightmare of Rogerson's sudden fists, lost in her search for herself.

See how that sums up the entire novel? Cass and Meredith have something in commmon. Cass is trying to step out of her sister's shadow and Meredith is trying to get over her father's death. I'm not saying start off with a description of Kaden, but I think this is a great way to start off a query.


  1. Way to go Brandi. Good luck! I wish I were that brave/creative/talented.

  2. I voted again! I'm afraid that my suggestions were a bit incoherent, though, so I apologize in advance ;)


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